I was featured on a Business Insider Podcast! (For the DUMBEST reason)

Yes, you read that title correctly. I was indeed not only featured, but actually the go to “EXPERT” on a ~very niche~ subject.

Crocs.

Or, more specifically, the eating of Crocs…….yeah, so this is where it gets a little weird.

Back in highschool, I was a writer for our school’s student newspaper, The Knight Errant. There, I excelled at humiliating myself and alienating faculty with my witty, sardonic (damn, SAT word right there), and engaging stories.

You may have the (wrong) impression that traveling is what brought out my willingness to sacrifice my safety, reputation, and dignity for the sake of a good story, but that is not the case. I have been doing stupid shiz for years .

And on this *very* special occasion, I happened to eat a Croc.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Gunnar, why on earth would you eat a Croc?”

Well, the short answer is because I like attention. The long(er) answer is that it was in pursuit of a definitive answer to a highly scientific and Nobel Prize worthy question:

Are Crocs edible?

You may be aware of a certain urban legend that states Crocs can be eaten in a last ditch effort to survive if you’re ever stranded in the woods. The story goes that you boil them down over a fire until they’re soft enough to ingest, and then you eat them for life-saving ~sustenance~.

Naturally, I decided that this story must remain a myth no longer! And so I ate a Croc.

The full story is linked here. But this is the gist:

Pre-Consumption Research:

“Technically speaking, Crocs are made from a closed-cell resin called Croslite™. This soft, comfortable, lightweight, non-marking and odor-resistant foam gives Crocs their unique texture. Although not advertised as edible, Croslite™ is non-toxic, meaning theoretically no harm should come to you if consumed”

Post-Eating:

“In conclusion, Crocs may be non-toxic, but that definitely does not translate into them being *edible.* If you’re ever stranded on a deserted island with a friend, and Crocs appear to be your only food source, take my advice–– eat your friend before you eat your Crocs.”

I enjoyed a brief period of ~mild internet fame~ (thank you to all 6 people that commented on the OG piece), and then I assumed that, like all of my other stories, it would die.

Welp (shocker), I was wrong.

I had made one small miscalculation in my experiment. Not in my actual eating of the Croc, but in the reception of the findings. It turns out that I was not alone in my pursuit of answers and it wasn’t long before a fellow believer reached out (ok, so it was like three years later but whatever).

And she was from MOTHER FREAKIN’ BUSINESS INSIDER.

Refer to screen-shotted DM’s below:

I had a fruitful Skype interview and after hanging up and reflecting on my expert testimony, I immediately decided that in no world should I speak-of or listen to said podcast episode– ever.

I wasn’t embarrassed per say, but there is something (shame?) to be felt about the entire world learning of your Croc-eating history.

That decision lasted roughly 2 months. I knew the band-aid had to be ripped off eventually, so, armed with several shots and a (more than) willing support group– I gave the podcast a listen.

AND NOW I’M SHARING IT WITH ALL OF YOU!

I speak at the 24 min mark. Click HERE for the link

If you want to save yourself the *cringe* factor I basically just recounted my Croc eating experience and answered any questions she had. I made sure to plug Rachel Ray and mention the E.V.O.O. I added to the water when boiling, and even compared the taste of boiled Croc to a plastic mouth guard!

My favorite gem is definitely when the co-host asks “Did he have any regrets?”

And then the other host loudly proclaims “Gunnar has NO regrets!” And honestly she couldn’t be more right! That being said, I did feel a *slight* sense of guilt when I convinced her that she too should try eating a Croc, AND THEN SHE DID (listen to the rest of the podcast if you want to see how it went)!

For better or for worse, I still get random people commenting on my Instagram asking if I’m “that guy that ate that Croc” and I have to awkwardly acknowledge that, indeed I am. The internet never dies folks. I mean you eat ONE Croc and suddenly you’re “that guy.”

In conclusion, I shall die having not only survived ingesting a Croc, but also with the satisfaction of having convinced another human being to do the same. You can take me now Lorde.